


more like your ghost

by hulklinging



Series: Spring Awakening [2]
Category: Avengers Academy, New X-Men: Academy X, Runaways (Comics), Young Avengers
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Theatre, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hulklinging/pseuds/hulklinging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Acting is amazing. Billy's cast is amazing. Having a crush on the actor playing his love interest? Less amazing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	more like your ghost

_In the midst of this nothing, this miss of a life_

_Still there's this wanting just to see you go by_

_It's almost like lovin', sad as that is_

_May not be cool, but it's so where I live._

 

 

Billy is staring. He really shouldn't be. He should be going over his lyrics, because the lyrics of the next song they're running are still managing to evade him. But he can't help it.

"He has amazing stage presence," whispers Karolina, who is supposed to be going over her own lyrics. "No wonder we're all in love with him."

"Hey, I'm not," protests Billy, eyes still fixed on their Melchoir as he pulls Wendla through one of their duets. "Ernst prefers blondes, I think."

Karolina laughs and stands up, stretching. They both came early for their own calls, which means they get to watch Julie and Brandon move around each other, their eyes only for each other as they rough out the blocking for Word of Your Body. Billy can't help but watch their gentle touches and wonder if he and Teddy will be mirroring them at all, in their reprise of the same song.

"We're doing your solo today," Karolina keeps her voice low out of reflex, as Julie goes back to the top of the song, her voice sweet and kind. Some people have voices that are surprising, that do not match her appearance. But she is just the same out of character, all bubblegum smiles and waves. At the first rehearsal she had made a point to talk to every cast member, greeting them by name. Her Wendla has that wide eyed innocence the character needs, but she also brings a stubborn curiosity to the role, which helps her stand her ground against the steel idealism of Brandon. Billy likes Julie, even though he doesn't know her very well, yet. Brandon he's not so sure about. He's been cocky and boastful, the first few rehearsals. It's no secret he's one of the more experienced of the cast, and he's made sure that everyone knows that. But he is a good Melchior, and when he is on stage, his presence is impossible to ignore.

"I'm trying not to think about it," he admits. Ernst's solo in Touch Me is one of his favourite moments in the whole show. He's terrified of messing it up.

"You'll be great." She shoots a big smile his way, which is cheating, because Karolina's smiles are contagious.

"What about you?" Before they go into learning Touch Me, they get to learn My Junk, which is technically a full-cast song, but Anna has some solo lines which means Karolina has been stressing about it for days. They had met for coffee before rehearsal, so that Karolina could panic at him as needed. He secretly hopes this becomes routine, coffee dates before rehearsal, because he was definitely approaching panic himself, earlier. But talking dream roles and favourite shows with Karolina had been what he needed to ground him, and even as his stomach knots itself, it's much more manageable than it had been earlier.

"I'm actually feeling okay!" Wendla and Melchior seem to have finished falling for each other, at least for the moment. Jay gives them some feedback by the piano, while Cassie stumbles in, out of breath and apologizing for her tardiness, even though she is still a good twenty minutes early. She doesn't relax until Karolina goes over to her, and they have a quiet conversation Billy doesn't bother to listen in on. Cassie is the youngest of the cast, as far as he knows, and she holds herself to ridiculously high standards because of it. America, who's been here almost as long as Billy and Karolina, stands up and starts running through some hushed vocal warmups. Billy finds America very intimidating, though he tries not to let it show when they interact. Not that they do, much. She seems to prefer to keep to herself.

The rest of their cast file in, and after they are all here, Jay leads them in a brisk warm up that is just complicated enough to bring Billy focus. Focus is usually not such an issue, at least when it comes to theatre. But Billy has been finding himself distracted by Teddy more and more. He wants to blame it on his nerves, because next week is when they're learning their duet, but it's not just that hanging over him that is making him stare at the boy, who stands tall, eyes on Jay as he leads them through a last warmup. Teddy is so nice. That's the real problem. He's the first to offer to walk someone to the train station. He's the first to offer painkillers to someone with a headache. Billy doesn't know much about him, there's no reason he should trust Teddy as much as he does, especially since he doesn't have the best track record with boys who look like Teddy does.

"Nice is different than good," he mutters, a reminder. Cassie, in front of him, turns around and shoots him a smile.

"Dream role, right there," she says, excitement in her eyes. "I was a stepsister, in high school."

Noh has also overheard. "I was Cinderella's Prince! My high school was not one for the arts, so our show was terrible."

The conversation turns quickly to high school roles and shows, while Jay opens his score. Billy stays quiet, hopes it looks like he's just listening, not avoiding the topic. Jay calls them back to attention before his silence is noticed.

"Let's try it once through, and go from there."

It's the first time Billy's heard Martha, Anna, and Thea sing on their own. And it's not perfect, of course, especially once they get to singing together, but their voices are all beautiful, and in front of him, he starts to see the show take shape. Karolina is visibly shaking, and her voice betrays that, but it's great, for a first sing through. They're great.

Then Teddy sings.

Well, technically Noh signs first. His solo is ridiculous. Not all the notes are right yet, but it's hilarious, and he can't wait to see what Noh does when they get around to blocking it. And then Teddy comes in, and it's not like it's a tricky piece, or even a particularly pretty one. But his voice is smooth and he makes the weird lyrics make sense somehow and he definitely makes Billy miss an entrance, oops. He catches up quick, cheeks hot, and hopes nobody notices.

Focus.

Jay makes some suggestions, asks for just the girl part at the beginning. Billy listens, takes the lyrics and tucks them away, next to his embarrassing little crush. And really, when he sinks into the part of his mind where he collects and brings together the things that make up who Ernst is, it's easy to take the lyrics and apply them to Ernst, who looks at girls with a sort of innocent inevitability, who watches the boys and knows he stares too long but doesn't know why.

The boys are called back over to work on their parts. Ernst sneaks a look at Hanschen, and sings.

 

* * *

 

"It's really not fair," Karolina sighs into her tea. "Everyone is so pretty and talented. You think I would be used to it by now, but at least when I was doing modelling I didn't have to hear them all sing."

It's after rehearsal, and Billy had taken one look at Karolina, who had a set to her mouth that Billy mirrored with his own clenched jaw.

"Come over for tea?" He offers, and her eyes pull away from Julie as she nods, some of the tension draining from her shoulders.

"Yes, please."

And if a castmate watches them leave together, feels their stomach sink with disappointment, neither of them notice.

Billy and his brother live together in a small two bedroom that they can't actually afford. But Billy's parents had decided that helping him and his twin pay for a place was a good way for them to offer support without smothering them, with the added bonus of them having no excuse not to come home for holidays. Tommy still whined a bit about not being trusted on their own, but Billy knew it was just because Tommy didn't really know how to deal with people actually being on his side. He's learning, though. Just like they're both learning how to be brothers. And as frustrating as Tommy can be sometimes, Billy wouldn't give him up for the world.

As they kick their shoes off by the door, he explains this to Karolina, the parents and the twin he's just getting to know. It's maybe a strange thing, to bring up with someone he's so recently met, but it's better to explain now than to have to mention it later, because yes him and Tommy are definitely twins but it's also quite obvious that they didn't grow up together. Best to get it out of the way now. Karolina laughs in all the right places, clearly seeing the humour in the situation, and if she thinks it's tragic, no pity shows on her face, which Billy's grateful for. It doesn't really strike him as any kind of tragic, except perhaps in retrospect.

Then, as he gets the kettle going and rummages through the kitchen for anything vegan he can offer Karolina (he finds a banana and some cereal, which she accepts with a giggle and a thank you), she talks about movie star parents who somehow find time between shoots to express their utter disappointment in their only daughter going off to New York to slum it on Broadway.

"Did they actually say that?" Billy almost spits out his tea.

Karolina nods solemnly. "Yes. Gosh, I don't know what they'll do when they hear my first show is off-Broadway. Mom might cry." She doesn't seem bothered by her mother's potential disappointment. She also promises that next time they hang out, they can do so at her place. One of her parents' conditions for letting her live in the city had been that she had to live in their New York apartment, which usually sat empty for most of the year. Even when her and her parents stayed there ("For Christmas and New Years," she explains), it was huge. Now, with just her, it's cavernous.

"So, you're hosting the cast parties, then?" Billy's suggestion brings an almost devious glint to Karolina's eyes.

"Most definitely."

It's easy to talk to Karolina. They don't get to the topic of what was bothering her at rehearsal until the second cup of tea. Which is what has Karolina sighing into her tea as she bemoans the beauty of their cast.

"America has a pride button on her jacket," Billy offers. Karolina looks at him with wide eyes.

"America is terrifying." She shakes her head. "She is too hardcore for me, Billy. She would break me." She frowns, and takes another sip of tea. "And with me, and her, we've probably used up our whole queer girl quota-"

"What?"

"-which isn't fair because Julie is really, really pretty. And Xavin. Xavin is gorgeous. Did you hear her today? Her voice is amazing. It's hypnotic."

Billy's still stuck on the quota thing, which must show on his face. Karolina rolls her eyes at him.

"It's different for you. You're a guy. There are an abundance of queer boys in theatre. Usually the queer girls are all in tech."

"Maybe we'll get a cute sound girl?" Billy is half teasing, and Karolina just groans and lets her head fall to the table. Behind him, he hears the door open, and his brother come in. There's a crash of a bag hitting the floor, thuds of shoes being kicked off, slam of the door. Tommy is incapable of being quiet, even when he's not talking.

"Either you have a girl over, or you're gayer than I thought," Tommy shouts in leu of a hello. He must have spotted Karolina's shoes.

"Hello, Tommy," he calls back. Karolina lifts her head from the table just as Tommy walks in.

"Oh, hello." Tommy looks genuinely surprised to see a girl in here. "You could have warned me you had a pretty girl over."

Billy makes a face at his brother. "Tommy, this is Karolina. She's in Spring Awakening with me. Karolina, this is Tommy, part time stunt double, full time evil twin."

Tommy is instantly at the table, shaking Karolina's hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm also the straight twin, for the record."

Karolina giggles, and Billy relaxes. Tommy likes to flirt, and he's glad Karolina seems to have recognized that he's harmless.

Tommy sits on the corner of the table, even though there is an empty chair right next to him. "So, what are we talking about?"

“The show,” Billy supplies, which makes Tommy whine and lay across the table, narrowly missing their mugs.

“Of course you are. That’s all you’ve been talking about for weeks.”

“But it’s a really good show.” Which is the response he’s been giving for weeks, too. Karolina giggles, and moves her cup to a safer part of the table.

“We’re talking about the people in the show, if that makes it any better.”

“Gossiping? Shame on you both.” Tommy turns his back on Billy, so he can give his full attention to Karolina, like the shameless flirt he is. “Billy’s avoiding cast talk, so far. I think he’s worried I’m going to swoop in and charm you all, or something.”

“Oh, actually,” Billy remembers what he neglected to tell Tommy. “America is in it.”

“Chavez?” Tommy sits up, surprised. “I didn’t know she could sing. She got to push me off a building, once. She’s terrifying.” He says it fondly, and Karolina nods in agreement.

“Isn’t she?”

They all collectively have a moment of silence as they marvel at the force that is America Chavez. Then, because Tommy can’t sit still for longer than five seconds, he’s on his feet, putting water on the stove.

“Do you wanna stay for dinner?” Billy hadn’t realized it had gotten so late. “I’m sure we can veganify something for you.”

Karolina shakes her head. “No, I should probably be getting home. Thanks for the tea, though! Do you want to meet for coffee on Wednesday, too?”

“Yes!” Billy says, maybe a little too eagerly. But Karolina doesn’t seem to mind. “That would be awesome.”

“Maybe we should invite some of the other cast members?” There’s a teasing look in her eyes. “Teddy, maybe?”

He thought maybe he’d avoided talking about his unfortunate crush. Apparently not.

“Oh, I don’t- I mean, I don’t have his number. Or any of his contact info, so there’s not really any way-”

“I have him on facebook! We could invite the rest of the cast, too. That way, your staring won’t be so obvious.”

Billy can feel his cheeks getting hot. “Was I really staring that much?”

Karolina shrugs, and slips her jacket back on. “I only noticed because you were standing behind Julie. So I guess we’re both in trouble.”

Billy groans. “I’m so bad at this.”

And Karolina, because she is terrible, starts humming. Billy recognizes the tune instantly, of course. He’s probably heard the song a dozen times, today.

“Don’t.”

Her humming shifts into proper singing, as she winks at him. “I spend the day wondering what you do, where you go. I try to just kick it-”

Billy has no self control. He joins in. “-but then what can I do. We’ve all got our junk, and my junk is you.”

There’s a moment of silence, as they both try to pretend that these lyrics don’t apply to them in any way, at all. Then Tommy interrupts.

“What the fuck is this musical about, again?”

Karolina snickers, and pulls Billy in for a hug. “I’ll see you Wednesday. It was nice to meet you, Tommy! Have a good night!”

After she’s gone, Billy goes into the kitchen to help Tommy make dinner. He’s got a silly little smile lurking in the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t have a lot of friends, is the thing. So watching Karolina and Tommy getting along so well is a pleasure. And regardless of how nervous being around some of his castmates makes him feel, he can’t remember the last time he was this consistently happy. He loves acting. He loves this show. And he’s swiftly coming to love his cast as well.

“She’s gay, isn’t she.” Tommy’s voice cuts through his musing. He sounds a little disappointed. “I thought she was flirting back, but she’s just a genuinely nice person. That’s not fair.”

Billy laughs, and finishes the song under his breath.

_"We've all got our junk, and my junk is you."_

_You, you, you._


End file.
